PEI Minister of Tourism Zach Bell has been accused of really liking hockey after spending almost double PEI’s Social housing support budget on an NHL tourism deal. However, some in the cabinet are starting to call out Bell’s relationship with hockey as “kind of gay”.

Zack Bell has justified the $2.5 million NHL contract by claiming to reporters that he “just wants to watch fit men, get all sweaty and bump into each other on ice.”. Zack Bell also shared his confusion with the press as to why more people don’t want to funnel millions of tax dollars into a primarily American institution by saying “We all love men, sweaty men. And putting them on Ice letting them get all rough and tumble, that’s irresistible. I think sweaty men slipping around on ice is one thing every islander can agree on.”. When asked how this $2.5 million dollar tourism investment will benefit islanders, Bell responded by taking off his shirt, revealing a pristine oily figure. Bell then grabbed a hockey stick and did an uncomfortable yet strangely tantalizing, provocative dance to “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas. Bell finished the dance by exclaiming “put that in your budget report!” before throwing his hockey stick and sweaty shirt into the press corps, injuring one reporter and delighting another. Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” then started to play as Zack Bell violently thrusted and jirated away.

A cabinet meeting vote will be held on Monday to determine whether Zack Bell’s dance was “Too Horny” to justify another deal next year.